Now that's a body pillow!

We love ourselves a grandma who knows how to knit. But we have to say, even the most cozy of afghans can't quite compare to the fruits of grandmother Holly Stewart's labor. Because those fruits are giant, quilted penises. 

Yes, a real life, Kansas City-based grandma has turned her passion for free love into an art endeavor that's certainly got our blood pumping. It's called "Local Grandmother Quilts Giant Penises" and it encapsulates so many of the things we cherish in this sweet, short life: sex positivity, fiber crafts and badass women of a certain age.

Stewart's exhibition is currently on view at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, a vision made reality thanks to a Kickstarter initiative with one of the greater names in Kickstarter history. Stewart explains how her interest in decorative members sparked from her time working in a sex toy factory. 

"I was looking on Craigslist for jobs and I saw an ad for a position that was sex positive and I had to know what that was," Stewart explains casually, standing before a giant multicolored phallus. "When I looked at it it was to be a de-molder in a dildo factory. I just knew I needed to be able to tell my grandchildren I had even applied to be a de-molder in a dildo factory. When I got the job it was even better." [Emphasis added]

From Huffington Post 

Damien's note: I understand that the security officers at the exhibit have been instructed to keep Channing Tatum out, lest he go penis-grazing berserk.