I think that I shall never be a poem lovely as a tree

The Oak tree has always been looked upon as the most solid and respected of all trees, with its unusual scalloped leaves and hat top seeds (acorns). The oak starts strong with a thick deep root system that digs into the earth, stabilizing the broad trunk that will shoot forth. It is marked by low, heavy branches that children grow up climbing and building tree houses on while wondering over the kaleidoscopic display that overwhelms the senses. When those vividly colored leaves start to shed, they delight the eye with dancing displays of color, riding the breezes and covering the ground in softly cushioned layers, inviting more play and excitement.

The mighty Oak is truly a tree that is perfect for remembering a loving parental, protective and fun soul that delights in the music of children’s laughter.

These memorial tree cremation urns contain seeds for you to grow an Oak tree embedded into the lid, along with an unique mix that aids in the release of beneficial plant nutrients which are found in cremated ashes. By themselves, ashes are harmful to plants’ health and well-being. However, by planting our memorial tree urns with your loved one’s cremated ashes, you cultivate a mixture that nourishes and sustains your memorial tree. The urn planter comes inside a beautiful keepsake tin, which can be used after planting the tree as a keepsake memorial chest for letters, trinkets, photos, and more.

**Note: These are very small urns, intended to hold only a small amount of remains (35 cubic inches). If you would like to plant trees using all of the remains, figure 1 cubic inch per 1 pound of body weight. So a 175 lb individual would require 5 of these biodegradable memorial tree urns (175 lbs / 35 cubic inches = 5 urns).**

Source: UrnsNorthwest

Damien's note: Five urns means you could become a grove, not just a tree. 

St. Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows: Feastday February 27

Gabriel Possenti was a member of the Congregation of the Passion of Jesus Christ. He died of tuberculosis at the age of 24 in 1862. He was named Patron of Catholic Youth by Pope Benedict XV when he canonized Gabriel in 1920.

My favorite story about him is that on his deathbed he asked that his spiritual writings be burned lest he be tempted to spiritual pride.

Sounds like it was too late for that.

The Saint Gabriel Possenti Society is a U.S. organization promoting the public recognition of Gabriel and lobbying for his designation by the Vatican as the "patron saint of hand gunners". The society was founded by gun lobbyist John M. Snyder, who began his effort in 1987. The reason is a legend about the saint saving the town from a group of bandits by his skillful shooting of a handgun. Since Gabriel was in the late stages of tuberculosis at the time of the alleged gunfight, the story is highly improbable and is attested to in only a biography that is filled with fanciful inventions.

How did the predictable video work?

It's all about math.

It's not possible to select any of the post-its he takes off, because he uses just enough movements to make it impossible to select them. He never tells you where you are -- he cannot predict that until the very end. He only knows where your finger is not because he has not allowed enough moves to get to that one point.

Aw, shucks. It's no fun at all once you know, is it?

Predictable?

Impressed? Check back tomorrow.

He's no poet, but he don't know it.

William Topaz McGonagall, (1825-1902) poet and tragedian of Dundee, has been widely hailed as the writer of the worst poetry in the English language. A self-educated hand loom weaver of Irish descent, he discovered his discordant muse in 1877 and embarked upon a 25 year career as a working poet, delighting and appalling audiences across Scotland and beyond.

His audiences threw rotten fish at him, the authorities banned his performances, and he died a pauper over a century ago. But his books remain in print to this day, and he’s remembered and quoted long after more talented contemporaries have been forgotten.

Source: McGonagall Online

His most famous work is the well-named  "The Tay Bridge Disaster." For historical background, click here.

The Tay Bridge Disaster

Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.
’Twas about seven o’clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clouds seem’d to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem’d to say-
“I’ll blow down the Bridge of Tay.”
When the train left Edinburgh
The passengers’ hearts were light and felt no sorrow,
But Boreas blew a terrific gale,
Which made their hearts for to quail,
And many of the passengers with fear did say-
“I hope God will send us safe across the Bridge of Tay.”
But when the train came near to Wormit Bay,
Boreas he did loud and angry bray,
And shook the central girders of the Bridge of Tay
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.
So the train sped on with all its might,
And Bonnie Dundee soon hove in sight,
And the passengers’ hearts felt light,
Thinking they would enjoy themselves on the New Year,
With their friends at home they lov’d most dear,
And wish them all a happy New Year.
So the train mov’d slowly along the Bridge of Tay,
Until it was about midway,
Then the central girders with a crash gave way,
And down went the train and passengers into the Tay!
The Storm Fiend did loudly bray,
Because ninety lives had been taken away,
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.
As soon as the catastrophe came to be known
The alarm from mouth to mouth was blown,
And the cry rang out all o’er the town,
Good Heavens! the Tay Bridge is blown down,
And a passenger train from Edinburgh,
Which fill’d all the peoples hearts with sorrow,
And made them for to turn pale,
Because none of the passengers were sav’d to tell the tale
How the disaster happen’d on the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.
It must have been an awful sight,
To witness in the dusky moonlight,
While the Storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,
Along the Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
Oh! ill-fated Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
That your central girders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.

Because financial fraud is timeless

On February 21, 1814, during the Napoleonic Wars between the French Empire and its opposing forces (the Bourbons supported by the UK and other nations), a man calling himself Colonel du Bourg arrived in Dover, England, and began spreading word of Napoleon’s death. His news of the Bourbon’s victory quickly spread, and was verified by numerous other military officers who delivered the news to London and surrounding areas. In response to the newly established peacetime, the London Stock Exchange experienced a market boom, and prices on government securities skyrocketed.

However, word from French officials soon arrived, stating that the news of Napoleon’s death had been false. Stock market prices returned to their original levels, but not before several massive sales had taken place. Detecting possible fraud, the London Stock Exchange Committee began investigating the sales in question. They quickly discovered that a large collection of government stocks had been purchased a week prior to the news of Napoleon’s death, and had been sold for more than one million British Pounds. 

The committee charged Parliament member and former Naval enlistee Lord Cochrane with financial fraud, fined him (and his conspirators) 1,000 Pounds apiece, and sentenced them to twelve months in prison, as well as an hour of confinement in a public pillory.

Source: Johnson, P. (2002). Fraud and Profit in Nineteenth Century London 
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Damien's note: The reprehensible Lady Catherine de Bourgh appeared in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, published in 1813, the year before the scam. One assumes the slight similarity in names is a coincidence.

Om mane padme hum

Scientists found something strange inside of an ancient Buddha statue — the mummified remains of a monk. The statue was subjected to CT scans in December at Meander Medical Center in Amsterdam. Researchers determined that the monk went through self-mummification, a process that involves being buried alive inside of a chamber while meditating.

 

 

 Drents Museum/German-Mummy-Project

The statue next to a CT reconstruction created by the German-Mummy-Project at the Reiss-Engelhorn-Museen.

"The object is a rarity," Wilfried Rosendahl, head of the German-Mummy-Project at the Reiss-Engelhorn-Museen in Mannheim, Germany, told NBC News via email. Nothing like it has been studied in Europe before, he said. The CT scans revealed that the mummy was a man, between 30 to 50 years old, who was mummified and probably kept in a monastery for 200 years before he was covered by paper and enamel to make a statue. Rosendahl and a team of researchers determined that the mummy dates back to around the year 900 to 1,000. The statue was originally discovered in China and can currently be seen at the Natural History Museum in Budapest.

Celebrate! Celebrate! Split to the music!

A Saratoga Springs, New York, resort has begun accepting totally defeated husbands and wives for a relaxed weekend that includes divorce, bringing to America a concept already successful in six European cities. The Gideon Putnam Resort & Spa charges $5,000 for a couple to check in on a Friday, married, but leave Sunday officially single (complete with all legal niceties and various resort amenities, including, of course, separate rooms). Even though the couple must be fairly level-headed to accept this approach, the facility manager expressed concern that since the resort also books weddings, the "uncouplers" might inadvertently witness difficult scenes. (Gideon Putnam has hosted four divorces so far, but, said the European founder of the package service, "hundreds" of couples have used the services in Europe.) [New York Post, 2-10-2015] 


Source: News of the Weird 
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Damien's note: I am not sure if the $5,000 includes all legal fees, or if they  just handle the "legal niceties", whatever that may be. If it covers everything, that is quite a bargain. For a short while I worked in a law office that handled only divorce cases, and seldom did either party get away with a bill that small.

And if this is the opposite of a honeymoon, what do you call it? The Marriage Getaway?

Karmic surprise

It seems Bill O'Reilly of Faux News -- Motto: We make it up and you fall for it -- is upset because he has been caught in a flat out lie about reporting from the Falklands during the Falklands conflict. It is an established fact that no reporters were allowed into the Falklands and therefore Mr. O'Reilly is lying. Or, as he reportedly says, he was just using the term "the Falklands" in a general sense to indicate that he was south of the equator at the time.

This is a bit sticky because of Mr. O'Reilly's moral outrage over the revelations that Brian Williams had lied, or in Mr. O'Reilly's terms "used words to mean something other than what they mean in plain English."

Most unsettling for Mr. O'Reilly, of  course. I don't see why he is upset by the reports, however, since perhaps the reporters are able to say he was lying when they mean to use the word "lying" in the general sense of talking.

National Margarita Day: Sunday February 22

We pay tribute and honor the margarita on this special day of celebration.  We so deeply respect and value its place in our history that we have set aside February 22 of every year as National Margarita Day.

Loved and consumed by millions, friends and families around the world honor this sacred tequila, triple sec and lime drink every year on February 22.

There is much debate as to the exact individual responsible for inventing the classic margarita, although it was during the 1930’s or 1940’s.  Frozen margaritas were invented later in 1970’s when an inventive bartender converted a soft serve ice cream unit into a frozen margarita machine.  Whether you prefer a classic margarita on the rocks or frozen, it is the most common tequila-based cocktail in the United States today.  Hence National Margarita Day!

Are out looking for the best margarita?  Best is relative!  The margarita has developed into so many different flavors and varieties, each differing slightly depending on region.  A few of the more popular flavors include Strawberry Margarita, Mango Margarita, Limeade Margarita, Watermelon Margarita, Pomegranate Margarita, Raspberry Margarita and Blackberry Margarita.

National Margarita Day was started to celebrate the margarita, plain and simple. 

Friendship, good times and memories of somewhere warmer are all great reasons to enjoy a margarita.

Source: Official Website of National Margarita Day
-----------------------------
Damien's note: Watermelon Margarita? I hope it is not as bad as blue watermelon bubble gum. And I suppose the Pomegranate Margarita makes you look like that buff faux Persian soldier in the Pom commercial. (Or maybe it makes ordinary guys look like that to you as you peer through the bottom of your 64 oz glass?)

Seriously, I had a margarita in St. Louis once that came in what looked like a fishbowl on a stem. My medical professionals don't let me drink any longer, but you can feel free to lift a toast in honor of the days when I could cope with that much tequila in one sitting.

If you do enjoy National Margarita Day, do so safely and wisely. You don't want to spoil things by creating bad memories for yourself or others by Livin' la Vida Loca and driving.

¡Olé! And have lots of fun!

PS -- Personally, I would avoid the deep-fried tequila shots. [But if you must, the recipe can be found here.]

Almost Daytona time

Daniel is a NASCAR fan, so this is for him:

The first two Daytona 500 races were not 500 miles. The race didn't become 500 miles until 1961. The first race in 1959 was won by Lee Petty, Richard Petty's father. The race winner was originally said to be Johnny Beauchamp. After reviewing the film and photos for 3 days, the winner was declared to be Lee Petty. The photo finish camera at the time was at track level, 3 cars were side by side at the finish line which made it hard to determine the winner.

Happy Lunar New Year

Kung Hei Fat Choy

Chinese New Year is an important Chinese festival celebrated at the turn of the Chinese calendar. In China, it is also known as the Spring Festival, the literal translation of the modern Chinese name. Chinese New Year celebrations traditionally run from Chinese New Year's Eve, the last day of the last month of the Chinese calendar, to the Lantern Festival on the 15th day of the first month, making the festival the longest in the Chinese calendar. The first day of the New Year falls between January 21 and February 20, so this year it is almost as late as it can be.

Because the Chinese calendar is lunisolar, and because the holiday is not solely observed by "Chinese" cultures, the Chinese New Year is often referred to as the "Lunar New Year". We have many Asian friends who prefer to wish us a Happy Lunar New Year. Or just, Happy New Year. After all, do we wish one another a Happy Solar New Year?

It's the Year of the Sheep/Goat/Ram, depending on who did the translating. And supposedly it could be a bad year ... Again, depends on how you look at it. Horny goats and rams sound promising ;-). Sheep, not so much.

Ash Wednesday

I never know whether to wish people a happy Lent or not. It sounds self-contradictory.

But saying, "Have a lousy Lent!" doesn't sound right either.

At any rate, I hope your Ash Wednesday isn't ruined by being reminded you're going to die.

Ferris wheel

For a while, I lived near the site of the 1893 Columbian Exposition, the Chicago World's Fair. My apartment was a block from the Science and Industry Museum, which is housed in the only remaining large structure from that momentous event.

 Possibly the most popular attraction at the fair was the Ferris Wheel, built to prove the superiority of American engineering by outdoing the Eiffel Tower that had served as the entry point for the Paris fair in 1889. 

That first wheel had much larger gondolas than the small seats today. The originals accommodated up to 60 people at a time, making it possible for more than 2,000 passengers to ride at a time. Over 38,000 people a day took the trip. You got to go around twice and the trip took 20 minutes, in part because they had to stop six times to load and unload passengers.

To prove they had done it, they were given a certificate at the end of the ride.

These became so popular that newsstands began to sell fake certificates for a dime. The ride itself would cost you fifty cents (about thirteen dollars in today's money), but there was that long wait in line. Some people (see below) were afraid to ride it to its 264 foot height.

The wheel was dismantled and moved a couple of times, even being set up again as part of the St. Louis World's Fair in 1904. Two years later it was intentionally destroyed.

Not to name names, but Daniel, who was a Green Beret paratrooper, won't ride in a Ferris wheel to this day. Perhaps if they offered him some sort of certificate ...

Although I think my friends in Boston will not be amused

Thirteen

Stalls at Santa Anita Park:

12, 12a, 14

Eye? Don't sink so.

I'm a young cowboy, and I don't know I've done wrong

Mike Montemayor, until recently a county commissioner in Laredo, Texas, pleaded guilty to bribery charges in June and had argued in January 2015 that he should get a light sentence because, after all, he had subsequently helped FBI agents in a sting against three other officials accused of bribery. 

The prosecutor countered that Montemayor had in fact tried to steal the recording devices and Apple computer the FBI had furnished him to do the undercover work. 

He got six years in prison and a $109,000 fine.

Source:Laredo Morning Times, 1-27-2015
 -------------------
Damien's note: You have to admire his tenacity, though.

Predestined?

Clement Laird Vallandigham (July 29, 1820 – June 17, 1871) was an Ohio politician, and leader of the Copperhead faction of anti-war Democrats during the American Civil War. He served two terms in the United States House of Representatives. His political activities eventually caused him to be deported to the Confederacy by President Lincoln in 1863. He insisted he was there as a prisoner of war but also remarked that he did not want to be a citizen of the Union. His story supposedly inspired the short story, "Man Without a Country." His stormy political career destroyed by his anti-war activities, he returned to the practice of law.

His story is twisted and confusing enough by itself. His death, however, is the point of this post.

Vallandigham died in 1871 in Lebanon, Ohio, at the age of 50, after accidentally shooting himself in the abdomen with a pistol. He was representing a defendant in a murder case for killing a man in a barroom brawl at the Golden Lamb Inn. 

 Vallandigham attempted to prove the victim, Tom Myers, had in fact accidentally shot himself while drawing his pistol from a pocket while rising from a kneeling position. As Vallandigham conferred with fellow defense attorneys in his hotel room at the Golden Lamb, he showed them how he would demonstrate this to the jury. Selecting a pistol he believed to be unloaded, he put it in his pocket and enacted the events as they might have happened, snagging the loaded gun on his clothing and unintentionally causing it to discharge into his belly. 

Although he was fatally wounded, Vallandigham's demonstration proved his point, and the defendant, Thomas McGehan, was acquitted and released from custody (to be shot to death four years later in his saloon). Surgeons probed for the pistol ball, thought to have lodged in the vicinity of his bladder, but were unable to locate it, and Vallandigham died the next day of peritonitis. His last words expressed his faith in "that good old Presbyterian doctrine of predestination".

Who ya gonna call? St. Drogo!

Drogo (1105-1186) was a child of Flemish nobility.His mother died when he was born. He learned the reason for her death, and it made an emotional impact on him. He held himself responsible. Later in his life he went to extreme penances, perhaps to relieve his guilt. Drogo was orphaned when he was a teenager.
At age eighteen, he rid himself of all his property and became a penitential pilgrim. As a pilgrim he traveled to Rome many times. He became a shepherd for about six years working in Sebourg, near Valenciennes, where he worked for a woman named Elizabeth de l'Haire.

Reportedly Drogo was able to bilocate, which refers to the ability to maintain one's actual presence in two totally different places at the same time. Witnesses claimed seeing Drogo working in fields simultaneously, and going to Mass every Sunday.

During a pilgrimage he was stricken with an unsightly bodily affliction. He became so terribly deformed that he frightened the townspeople. In his twenties, a cell was built for him to protect the local citizens of the village from his appearance. Since he was so holy, his cell was built attached to his church. St. Drogo stayed in his cell without any human contact, except for a small window in which he received the Eucharist and obtained his food. He stayed there for the rest of his life, about forty more years, surviving only on barley, water, and the holy Eucharist.

Because of his deformity, he is considered the Patron Saint of Unattractive People. He is also Patron Saint of Coffee for no apparent reason.

Damien's note: Note that Drogo was supposedly working in the fields on the Sabbath. It is often pointed out the the shepherds Luke's gospel places at the manger of Jesus were chosen not because they were picturesque and romantic, but because shepherds were looked upon as irreligious because their duties kept them from careful observance of the Mosaic law. Matthew had astrologers -- pagans -- at the birth of the Messiah. Luke had Jews who were considered impious.

Phantom of the bathtub

Firefighters in Northern California rescued a horse that got stuck in an outdoor bathtub.
 
Sacramento Metropolitan Fire District Capt. Michelle Eidam says the horse was dancing around in her stall to protect the bathtub used as her food trough when she suddenly fell in Wednesday.

The horse, named Phantom, was stuck in the bathtub for about 25 minutes with her feet up in the air. Her owner saw the horse fall and called the fire department.

Between firefighters and the owner's family, they were able to prop the bathtub on its side and pull Phantom forward onto her feet.

Phantom, a Palomino/Appaloosa mix, was not injured.

Source: Associated Press

---------------------
Damien's note: One wonders what the horse was protecting the bathtub from...

Unacceptable!

Accepted is a 2006 movie about a high school slacker (played by Justin Long, better known as the cool Mac in a series of Apple computer ads) who's rejected by every school he applies to. With friends, he opts to create his own institution of higher learning, the South Harmon Institute of Technology, on a rundown piece of property near his hometown.

The idea of a fake college, however, was not original.

Plainfield Teacher's College was an imaginary college, created as a hoax, that fooled the New York Times sports department and college football fans across the country.

In 1941, stockbroker Morris Newburger and radio announcer Alexander "Bink" Dannenbaum concocted the idea of a mythical college football team. Using the name Jerry Croyden, Newburger phoned the New York papers and Dannenbaum phoned the Philadelphia papers with fantastic stories of Plainfield's lopsided victories over several (equally nonexistent) schools. For the first two weeks, the scores and the opponents in the New York and Philadelphia papers did not match but by the third week, they were better organized. When the newspapers started printing the scores week after week, Newburger and Dannenbaum invented other details, including a sophomore running back named Johnny "The Celestial Comet" Chung, whose amazing ability on the gridiron was chalked up to the rice he ate on the bench between quarters. Hop-Along Hobelitz was named as Plainfield's coach.

After six weeks of Plainfield victories (raising speculation that the team might secure a bid to a small-college bowl game), Red Smith from the Philadelphia Record (who by this time was also reporting the fake scores) decided to actually go to Plainfield, New Jersey to try to find the college. Of course, there wasn't one. 

Finally, Newburger and Dannenbaum had to confess, and "Jerry Croyden" wrote his final press release, stating that Plainfield had cancelled its remaining schedule as Chung and several other players were declared ineligible after flunking exams. The Tribune took it in good humor, reporting the hoax; columnist Franklin Pierce Adams even wrote a song for Plainfield, to the tune of Cornell's "Far Above Cayuga's Waters": "Far above New Jersey's swamplands / Plainfield Teacher's spires! / Mark a phony, ghostly college / That got on the wires...!"
-----------------
Damien's note: As a tenured member of the faculty of Philip Peabody Horton University, I am shocked that anyone would dream up such a boondoggle as a fake institution of higher learning.  Shocked, I tell you!

On the other hand, Philip Peabody Horton University is exactly the kind of school some of the kids in the movie might have found perfect, though not Mr. Long who is too cool by half for our student body, which is composed entirely of misfits.

Speedy the Geoduck

Okay, sports fans, it's I-am-not-making-this-up time at Damien's Queer World.

Speedy the geoduck is the mascot of Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. According to their website: 

The geoduck has been called every name in the book: weird, versatile, baffling, even a delicacy, but Speedy represents the essence of Evergreen’s charm.

Despite the name, a geoduck is not a geode, nor is it a duck. In fact, it’s pronounced like gooey-duck. Clearly, nothing is quite as it seems when it comes to the geoduck.

The geoduck is among the world’s largest clams, weighing three pounds on average. It’s so large, it can’t fit into its own shell. [Damien's note: Yep, that's it sticking out of the shell on the right of that photo.]

Visit the website for even more information. 

------------------
Damien's further note: I thought the Philip Peabody Horton Whos had the strangest mascot, but apparently we aren't even in the running. And do I need to mention that the geoduck is considered an aphrodisiac by some because ... well, look at the thing.

And I am not making any of this up.

West End girls?

"West End, New Jersey has a minor claim to fame as the birthplace of Dorothy Parker. It used to be its own village, but now I think it's just a suburb of Long Branch. But what makes it unusual is its name. It's surrounded on three sides by Long Branch, and on the other side it faces the Atlantic Ocean. So what exactly is it on the west end of?"

Source: Weird Universe February 28, 2013

Damien's note: The answer to Mr. Boese's question is obvious: It is the west end of the Atlantic Ocean. It may be an arrogant claim, but there is at least as much truth in that as in most news reports on a certain outlet that will remain unnamed. (Cough! Fox! Cough!)

Just horsing around with you

But rice and beans are good for you, right?

Numerous store brand supplements aren't what their labels claim to be, according to an ongoing investigation that subjected popular herbal supplements to DNA testing. 

The investigation, led by New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, focused on a variety of herbal supplements from four major retailers: GNC, Target, Walmart and Walgreen Co. Lab tests determined that only 21 percent of the products actually had DNA from the the plants advertised on the labels. 

"This investigation makes one thing abundantly clear: The old adage 'buyer beware' may be especially true for consumers of herbal supplements," Schneiderman said. His office issued cease and desist letters to the retailers on Monday telling them to stop sales of the products.

The investigation found supplements, including echinacea, ginseng, St. John's wort, garlic, ginkgo biloba and saw palmetto, were contaminated with substances including rice, beans, pine, citrus, asparagus, primrose, wheat, houseplant and wild carrot. In many cases, unlisted contaminants were the only plant material found in the product samples. [Emphasis added by Damien]

The retailer with the poorest showing was Walmart, where only 4 percent of the products tested showed DNA from the plants listed on the labels.
--------------
Damien's note: Walmart has a reputation for handling products from major manufacturers that do not come up to the standards of the producers. The manufacturers sell them to Walmart at a discount and Walmart sells them to the unsuspecting customers who think they are buying top notch brands. Why should we be surprised that Walmart cheats on its in-house brands? 

PS -- Conservatives want the government out of regulating markets because, well, you know, the owners are all about taking care of their customers and would never do sneaky things because that would hurt their sales. Shame on Walmart, Walgreens, Target and GNC!

Jailbait

Kentucky, one of America’s financially worse-off states, annually spends $2 million of taxpayer money on salaries and expenses for 41 “jailers” who have no jails to manage. Research by the Kentucky Center for Investigative Reporting in January noted that Kentucky’s constitution requires “elected” jailers, notwithstanding that 41 counties have shut down their jails and house detainees elsewhere via contracts with sheriffs. 

 Though the jailers may be called upon to transport prisoners from time to time, the 41 counties are mostly small ones with few detainees. Several jailers have full-time “side” jobs, and one jailless jailer employs five deputies while another has 11 part-timers. 

Source:Courier-Journal (Louisville) 

Damien's note: The Mayberry, North Carolina jail pictured above, on the other hand, often had guests.

And now Noisegate?

 The NFL just may have more integrity-of-the-game issues than you think.

According to an ESPN report on Sunday, the league is now investigating the Atlanta Falcons, for allegedly piping synthetic crowd noise into their homefield, the Georgia Dome, during the last two seasons.

According to the report, the Falcons may have been pumping crowd noise in during their opponents' offensive possessions, when they were trying to call a play. It has yet to be determined if this caused a true advantage for Atlanta, which went just 6-10 this past season, 3-5 at home. Still, Atlanta could draw a fine, or possibly lose a draft pick.

A Falcons spokesman told ESPN that the team is cooperating with the investigation.

The Falcons mystery comes as the league continues to deal with the New England Patriots DeflateGate controversy, which saw Bill Belichick's team caught with 11 of 12 footballs that came in below the NFL's minimum air pressure at halftime of the AFC championship game. New England remains under an investigation led by Ted Wells.

This is not the first time an NFL team has been accused of pumping artificial crowd noise into the stadium. During the 2007 season, the Pats accused the Colts of pumping crowd noise into the RCA Dome, although Indy was never subject to an investigation.
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Damien's note: I saw a poll that indicated more than 50% of sports fans believe the Patriots cheated in the AFC championship game. There was, however, no indication that all these fans believe the team should be severely penalized. When millions of dollars are at stake, Americans have come to believe people will cheat.  That explains a lot about our political reality, huh?