St. Anthony

A friend recently lost an earring and emailed that she thought she might have dropped it at our apartment when she had come over for some computer help. When I told her we would keep an eye out for it, I suggested she try the Catholic trick of praying to Saint Anthony. "Just say, 'St. Anthony, help me find my earring,'" I suggested jokingly.

Within five minutes she called me back. As soon as she got the email she said, "St. Anthony, help me find my earring" and almost simultaneously her husband shouted from another room, "Hey! I found your earring."

It reminded me of a story from my seminary days. One of the staff, whose name was Anthony, had gone out to work on the motor of a boat pulled up on the shore of the small lake on campus. When he leaned over the engine with a wrench in his hands, a swarm of yellow jackets flew out and he jumped back, hurling the wrench into the lake, and took off running to the main building.

Shortly after that, he asked one of my classmates to go into the lake to see if he could locate the wrench. The seminarian asked if he had tried praying to St. Anthony. The priest just snorted.

So my classmate picked up a stick, prayed, "St. Anthony, help me find this lost wrench" and walked out into the lake. He poked the stick into the water and it landed on the wrench on his first try.

(Cue The Twilight Zone theme.)

Whatever one wants to make of either story, Saint Anthony of Padua, O.F.M. ( 1195 – 1231),  was a Portuguese Catholic priest and friar of the Franciscan Order. He was born and raised by a wealthy family in Lisbon and died in Padua, Italy. Noted by his contemporaries for his forceful preaching and expert knowledge of scripture, he was canonized shortly after his death. He is the patron saint of finding things or lost people.

He is one of the most popular saints on the Roman Calendar, no doubt because we all tend to lose things and need help finding them. Almost every Catholic Church has (or once had) a statue of the saint, usually holding the Child Jesus in his arms.

Terminology

One of the most salacious emails to be revealed from the giant hack of Sony was a list of complaints from employees about the studio. Among them was griping that Sony has stayed married to Adam Sandler despite the “mundane, formulaic” quality of his movies, some of which have been outright flops, like That’s My Boy and Jack and Jill.

Here’s more fuel for that fire: For the second year in a row, Sandler tops the Forbes List of the Most Overpaid Actors in Hollywood. Forbes looked at the last three movies of the biggest stars in Hollywood and calculated what they were paid and what the movies earned to come up with what is essentially a return on investment number for each star. They estimate that for every $1 Sandler was paid, he returned an average of $3.20.

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Damien's note: A number of people have questioned the Forbes report, basing their criticism on the dubious assumption that Mr. Sandler can really be called an actor in any acceptable sense of the term.

Looking for a new way to welcome the New Year?

Spaniards wear red underwear during New Year celebrations to bring in tidings of good luck to the coming year. During the New Year’s Eve celebrations you will enjoy the usual family dinner of shrimp and turkey or lamb as the countdown to midnight is closely followed from striking clocks in town squares. Once the clock strikes midnight the toasting and drinking will start. You can bet that most of those people toasting sparkling wine and champagne will be in red panties and bras from Chantelle at Harrods. For the Spaniards both eating of grapes and wearing of red underwear on New Year’s Eve symbolize good luck in the coming year. I believe the idea is to try to eat a grape for each stroke of the clock. For each grape you gulp down, you get one month of good luck. If you don't choke, of course.

In Font de la Figuera, the celebration includes a run through town in your red undies. This sounds like the  Santa Speedo Runs in Boston and other places in the States and Canada. (Note the two Jewish gentlemen wearing Menorah hats in the Boston photo.)

Italians claim that their own tradition of wearing red underwear for the New Year dates back to at least the Middle Ages. The legend is that men draped their privates in red to protect themselves and their future progeny from witches who roamed the streets as the New Year began to do mischief. Red is a lucky color, associated with the Archangel Michael, who defeated Satan in heavenly combat. He is considered the patron of warriors, police officers and firefighters. And of red jock straps, I guess.

Okayyyy ... Another ad from the 1960s

Source: The Bradley Corporation Blog

Damien's note: Actually I remember showers similar to this in the gym when I was a student at Midwestern State Megaversity. I don't think we were having as much fun as these guys.

This ad is from 1969.

Damien's note: Okay, I admit I may have once owned a pair of slacks that looked suspiciously like that, but I think mine did not ride up above my shoes that much.  

And that's all I have to say about that.

Shades of Catherine the Great!

A man in Wausau, Wisconsin, is facing bestiality charges after being suspected of performing oral sex on a horse.

Jared Kreft, 30, was arrested last Wednesday after deputies in Marathon County responded to a call about strange goings-on in a Wausau barn, according to TheNorthwestern.com. 

When they arrived, they saw Kreft near a horse wearing a face mask, black jacket and blue wind pants with holes cut in the areas of the crotch and butt. The suspect also had a marijuana pipe and a jar of petroleum jelly in his possession, according to court documents. 

Police said Kreft allegedly admitted that he had been performing oral sex on the horse in the barn, which came about after viewing "horse pornography," according to the Metro.

Marathon County District Attorney Kyle Mayo said the case unlike any he's seen previously.

"It's unique. We don't have very many of them in the county or really across the country, so it's a unique case," he told WKOW TV.

Deputies searched Kreft's apartment in the city of Wausau, and allegedly found a small amount of marijuana, the Wausau Daily Herald reports.

Kreft was charged with sexual gratification with an animal sex organ, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana as a repeat offender and bail jumping, according to court records.

He remains in Marathon County Jail, unable to post a $2,000 bond, WSAU.com reports. He is due in court Tuesday afternoon.

Source: Huffington Post
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Damien's note: Although the story about Catherine the Great's fatal episode with the horse was referenced as historical on an episode of The Big Bang Theory, serious historians say this was just a scandalous rumor spread after her death by her many enemies. She had any number of acknowledged and unacknowledged lovers, but none were apparently equine.

NB: The above photo of actor Derek Theler in a centaur costume has no connection to this news story!

Just because simple solar lights would be too easy

Add some interest to your garden on a winter’s night with glowing orbs. If desired, these may also be created for use during warmer temperatures, but won’t last as long. The glowing balls are very easy to craft and display.

Acquire a large balloon, fill it with water, and tie it closed.  Place a tennis ball under the water balloon and either place the filled balloon outside during freezing temperatures, or use your freezer to turn the water into ice. Once the water inside the balloon has frozen, cut-away the balloon and remove the tennis ball. If desired, you can rinse your new ice ball with water to give it a more clear effect. Put a battery-operated tea light in the hollow spot or use a child's glow stick or glow bracelet.

Source: Upcycled Garden Style

Happy holidays!

Colonel Santa: Something sweet for your holiday

Each Christmas Eve people all over the world will log on to the official Santa Tracker to follow his progress through U.S. military radar. Tracking Santa all started in 1955, with a misprint in a Colorado Springs newspaper and a call to Col. Harry Shoup's secret hotline at the Continental Air Defense Command, now known as NORAD.  

The Santa Tracker tradition started with this Sears ad, which instructed children to call Santa on what turned out to be a secret military hotline. Kids today can call 1-877 HI-NORAD (1-877-446-6723) to talk to NORAD staff about Santa's exact location.  Col. Harry Shoup's children, Terri Van Keuren, Rick Shoup, and Pam Farrell, recently visited StoryCorps to talk about how the tradition began.  

Col. Shoup had two phones on his desk, one was the "red" phone that only Shoup and a four-star general at the Pentagon had the number.  Of course, this was the 1950s during the height of the Cold War.  Shoup was the first line of defense against a nuclear attack.

The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it.  On the line was a small voice that asked "Is this Santa Claus?"  Shoup was a serious, disciplined, and straight-laced colonel and was immediately annoyed at the call, thinking it was a joke.  Then the little voice began to cry, Shoup realized it wasn't a joke.  So, Shoup went into Santa mode.  He talked to the young boy, said a few "HO-HO-HOs" and asked if he'd been a good boy this year.  Then Col. Shoup asked to speak to the boys mother.  And the mother got on and said, 'You haven't seen the paper yet? There's a phone number to call Santa. It's in the Sears ad.' Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number.

That was the first of many phone calls that the Continental Air Defense Command received on the red phone.  Shoup decided to assign a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.  It became a big joke at the command center.  Col. Harry Shoup came to be known as the "Santa Colonel." 

The airmen had a large glass board with the United States and Canada on it so that they could track airplanes in the skies.  On Christmas Eve of 1955, when Shoup walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole.  Shoup asked, "What is that?"  The airmen replied, 'Colonel, we're sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?' Shoup looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, he had called the radio station and had said, 'This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.' Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and ask, "Where's Santa now?"

Later in life, Shoup got letters from all over the world, people saying, 'Thank you, Colonel,' for having a sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information.  The letters were important to him.  He had been an important man for America's defense in the Cold War, but he was also known as Colonel Santa. 

Col. Shoup died in 2009.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house ...

 

Smokin'!

from a 1920 Popular Science

Damien's note: And all we ever did was put out milk and cookies. It does make me wonder what the hip children in Colorado may have for the Jolly Old Elf this year ...

Squiggly?

People advertising for love interests via online dating sites have apparently become picky about how they describe their sexuality. To the usuals (male, female, gay, heterosexual) have been added recently (as reported by NPR in December after surveying OkCupid.com) “asexual,” “androgynous,” “genderqueer” (evidently not the same as “gay”), “queer” (not quite “gay,” either), “questioning,” “trans man,” “transsexual,” “transmasculine,” “heteroflexible,” and the NPR reporter’s favorite, “sapiosexual” (turned on by “intelligence”). Still, some users of the site found the choices inadequate. One young woman described her sexual orientation as “squiggly,” and the reporter cited others who thought highly of that term.
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Damien's note: Okay, where were the sapiosexual bars when I was young and foolish? 

I have a young friend who uses the word spoogly, but I am not sure what he means by it.

Santa Con

He knows if you’ve been bad or good, and he apparently also knows when your guard is down.

This last Saturday, some Scrooge dressed as Santa—much like most the rest of the city during the San Francisco SantaCon street party —tiptoed right into a Wells Fargo bank on Sutter Street downtown, and robbed it.

The real life Man With The Bag approached the teller window in the early afternoon with a demand note in hand, and then gracefully walked away.

The sneaky St. Nick was described only as a man in his 40s or 50s standing about 5-feet, 11-inches tall. KPIX 5’s Joe Vazquez was the first to track down FBI photos revealing that he was wearing an ill-fitting beard.

He slipped into the SantaCon crowed filled with hundreds of merry-makers who were drinking and partying in the streets around Union Square.

“The suspect decided to take advantage of this event dressed as a Santa,” said SFPD spokeswoman Grace Gatpandan.

Similar crimes have been depicted by Hollywood, and naughty Santas have been caught on camera carrying out crimes from Florida to Australia. However, the crowd of Santas in the streets on Saturday give this criminal an added layer of anonymity.
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Damien's note: SantaCon? Really?

Still here

Remember December 21, 2012? The Mayan Apocalypse. Yeah, about that ...

So no matter what the holidays throw at you -- and whatever holiday is doing the throwing -- you will probably survive.

Happy Solstice! 

Interestingly, the "O Antiphon" -- a special verse sung at Evening Prayer in the Roman Catholic liturgy (and a few others) -- assigned to December 21 is in Latin:

O Oriens,

splendor lucis aeternae, et sol justitiae:

veni, et illumina sedentes in tenebris, et umbra mortis.

English:

O Morning Star,

splendor of light eternal and sun of righteousness:

Come and enlighten those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death.

(Note: A literal translation of the Latin yields "O Rising Sun", but the poetic "O Morning Star" or "O Dayspring" is often preferred.)

Not coincidental, since the date of Christmas was chosen in the mid-fourth century to coincide with older pagan festivals that celebrated the solstice.

Haven't we all met this guy!

It's nice not to be dating anymore. 

On the other hand, this guy seems to be running for every political office there is. And people are voting for him because ... well, look at him!

Almost

For the students, exams are over and campus is pretty deserted. I have a few more exams to mark and a couple of late papers to grade. And then two weeks to enjoy a breather before winter term begins.

Life is looking good!

And the answer is ...

 As a bonus question on the exam for my course on unusual beliefs, I asked the students what religious holiday Jesus celebrated at this time of year.


Half said Passover. About a third said Christmas. A handful didn't answer. And two got it right -- the Feast of Dedication, today known as Hanukkah. See John 10:22

Had to share this one even though I am on a break

Wings and a Prayer? Alabama Church Sets Up Shop in Sports Bar

There may be some unorthodox questions raised at the next meeting of the Riverchase United Methodist Church. Like, "You want fries with that?" 

The Alabama house of worship is hoping to attract some new blood by setting up shop in an unconventional location — the Buffalo Wild Wings franchise in Howell. 

"We want to reach a different demographic of people than we would normally be able to reach," the pastor, Dr. Jim Savage, told NBC News. "Something with a more casual, laid-back atmosphere." 

Savage said the meetings, which begin this Sunday morning, will start as Bible study with prayers but "could eventually look more like a worship service of some type." 

After the holy work is dispensed with, the crowd can turn its attention to Hail Mary passes. 

 "People will be invited to stay for lunch and maybe watch some football," Savage said. 

He said Riverchase isn't the first to take services to a watering hole. A roadside bar on the Alabama-Florida border draws hundreds every week.

"Some people have been excited about it," Savage said. "Some people think it's weird." 

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Damien's note: Apparently you don't need to raise a million dollars to buy a McDonald's franchise to do the fast-pray, fast-food thing. See earlier story here.

Time to pause and reflect

I have decided to join Daniel in taking some time to pause and reflect. It is always exhausting this time of year at the university, what with papers to read and exams to mark. Throw in the holidays, which means Christmas, Hanukkah and Yule in our families. So rather than getting a break, I am, like poor maligned Martha, busy about many things.

 It is also a good time to prepare for the coming year, glancing back in order to look ahead. I will not be disappearing completely, but I may not be posting as frequently for the next little bit.

I hope you are finding moments to pause for your own good during this hectic season. Take your cue from Martha's sister Mary, who chose the better part -- letting Martha do all the work!

And you thought you needed to worry about online scams

During the 1980s, the U.S. Postal Inspection Service conducted a program of consumer awareness designed to make people more aware of mail order fraud. Inspectors gave talks at schools, businesses, senior centers, etc., and during the presentation they showed examples of actual flimflam products that con artists had sold through the mail.

Below are some of the items they displayed. (Source: Postal Life magazine - April 1986).

The Vision Dieter, $19.95. These glasses had one blue and one red lens and were supposed to affect the retina of the eye in order to make food look unappetizing.

Universal Coat Hanger, $3.95.

Engraved picture of Abraham Lincoln, $10.
Pet Baby Rattler, $19.95. The Inspection Service uncovered the "baby rattler" scam after following up on a complaint filed by the National Humane Society in Washington D.C., which had seen the ad and wanted to prevent the "snakes" from being mailed because of the possible detrimental effect upon them.

Guaranteed Bug Killer, $3.00. These two blocks of wood came with instructions to smash the bug between them.

Solar Clothes Dryer, $9.99.

Compact Food Server, $13.95.

 

 

Source: Museum of Hoaxes

 

Damien's note: And not a member of the Nigerian royal family in the bunch!

A Stephen King movie waiting to happen

NAGORO, Japan — This village deep in the rugged mountains of southern Japan once was home to hundreds of families. Now, only 35 people remain, outnumbered three-to-one by scarecrows that Tsukimi Ayano crafted to help fill the days and replace neighbors who died or moved away.

At 65, Ayano is one of the younger residents of Nagoro. She moved back from Osaka to look after her 85-year-old father after decades away.

"They bring back memories," Ayano said of the life-sized dolls crowded into corners of her farmhouse home, perched on fences and trees, huddled side-by-side at a produce stall, the bus stop, anywhere a living person might stop to take a rest.

"That old lady used to come and chat and drink tea. That old man used to love to drink sake and tell stories. It reminds me of the old times, when they were still alive and well," she said.

Even more than its fading status as an export superpower, Japan's dwindling population may be its biggest challenge. More than 10,000 towns and villages in Japan are depopulated, the homes and infrastructure crumbling as the countryside empties thanks to the falling birthrate and rapid aging.

In Japan's northeast, the massive earthquake and tsunami that struck in March 2011, killing more than 18,000 people, merely hastened along the decline.

First the jobs go. Then the schools. Eventually, the electricity meters stop.

Neither Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's ruling Liberal Democratic Party nor any of its rivals have figured out how to "revive localities," an urgent issue that has perplexed Japanese leaders for decades.

But some communities are trying various strategies for attracting younger residents, slowing if not reversing their decline. In Kamiyama, another farming community closer to the regional capital of Tokushima, community organizers have mapped out a strategy for attracting artists and high-tech companies.

Nagoro is more typical of the thousands of communities that are turning into ghost towns or at best, open-air museums, frozen in time — a trend evident even in downtown Tokyo and in nearly or completely empty villages in the city's suburbs.

The one-street town is mostly abandoned, its shops and homes permanently shuttered.

The closure of the local elementary school two years ago was the last straw. Ayano unlocks the door and guides visitors through spotless classrooms populated with scarecrow students and teachers.

When she returned to her hometown 13 years ago, Ayano tried farming. Thinking her radish seeds may have been eaten by crows, she decided to make some scarecrows. By now there are more 100 scattered around Nagoro and other towns in Shikoku.

Like handcarved Buddhist sculptures, each has its own whimsical expression. Some sleep, their eyelids permanently shut. Others cuddle toddler scarecrows, or man plows and hoes.

Ayano brings one along for company on her 90-minute drive to buy groceries in the nearest big town. But most remain behind, to be photographed and marveled at by tourists who detour through the winding mountain roads.

"If I hadn't made these scarecrows, people would just drive right by," said Ayano, who greets a steady stream of visitors who wander through the village.

Source: The State

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/2014/12/08/3860373_scarecrows-outnumber-people-in.html?rh=1#storylink=cpy

Was that FastTrain, FastTrack or FastWomen?

A for-profit Florida college used exotic dancers as admissions officers, falsified documents and coached students to lie on financial forms as it fraudulently obtained millions of dollars in federal money, according to a federal lawsuit filed in Miami.

On at least one of its seven campuses, FastTrain College "purposely hired attractive women and sometimes exotic dancers and encouraged them to dress provocatively while they recruited young men in neighborhoods to attend FastTrain," according to an ongoing civil lawsuit. The Florida attorney general and the U.S. attorney in Miami announced Wednesday that they were joining the lawsuit against the now-defunct FastTrain and former owner Alejandro Amor, 56.

Amor, of Coral Gables, was criminally indicted in October and faces pending charges of conspiracy and theft of government money. A telephone message left at a listing for Amor wasn't immediately returned

The complaint says Miami-based FastTrain and Amor bilked the U.S. Department of Education out of millions of dollars with falsified grant applications from at least January 2009 through June 2012, when the school closed after an FBI raid.

The school is accused of falsifying high school diplomas for students who didn't have them. Because they never graduated from high school, the lawsuit contends the students wouldn't have qualified for student aid.

To access taxpayer dollars, the school needed first-time students to attend class for at least 30 days. If they didn't, FastTrain falsified attendance records or backdated the enrollment so they could collect the money quicker, the lawsuit says.

The growth of for-profit colleges, which are governed by private organizations or corporations, has been explosive in Florida and across the country. As the schools have grown, numerous whistle-blower lawsuits have been filed against them by ex-employees. In the FastTrain case, the whistle-blower lawsuit was originally filed by Juan Pena, a former admissions employee. These lawsuits typically gain steam only when the government joins the case, as in Pena's lawsuit.

Some former FastTrain students say they are still struggling with student loan debts, and the lawsuit identifies more than 160 former students who are now in default. Those who were attending around the time of the FBI raid can get their loans discharged under a "closed school" provision.
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Damien's note: Like Big 10 schools haven't been doing this when trying to recruit football players for years!

FastTrain is also accused of charging students for services not provided, beyond the education one assumes they did not get. One student was charged over three thousand dollars for room and board -- but FastTrain does not provide any on-campus housing.

Happy Feast of St. Nicholas!

The ruins of an ancient Byzantine church in Demre, Turkey hold what is believed to be the original tomb of St. Nicholas, the fourth-century bishop whose name has become synonymous with gift-giving.

Nicholas’ miraculous and charitable acts were well-known in his time. It is said that he made anonymous donations of gold coins to a poor family, saving the daughters from a life of slavery and prostitution. A medieval tradition grew around this story, leading to the gift-giving custom of St. Nicholas Eve on December 5th.

In another legend, a butcher was luring children into his home to murder them, cut them up and sell them in barrels as food during a time of famine. When an angel told St. Nicholas of these atrocities, the bishop went to the butcher’s home just in time to restore life to three boys before they could be eaten.

Though his name is not included in the records, history claims the good saint attended the Council of Nicea in 325. He was apparently kicked out for slapping the heretic Arius.

Upon his death, commonly accepted as December 6 of some year between 330 and 352, St. Nicholas was interred in the church where he served, in what was then called Myra. He became known as the patron saint of sailors, travelers, thieves and children. Christians made pilgrimages from all over to visit his tomb.

In 1087 his sarcophagus was broken open, the remains stolen by Italian merchants following an attack from Muslim invaders that damaged the church. The thieves took the bones to a cathedral in Bari, Italy, where they believed they would be safe.

The Relics of St. Nicholas can be seen today. Part of a mandible and other small bits of bone are on display in the Basilica di San Nicola in Bari. An oily liquid, known as Manna di S. Nicola or santa manna, is said to flow from them. It is highly valued for its supposed medicinal properties, extracted ceremoniously once a year on May 9th.

 

Source: Cult of Weird